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26 December 2007 @ 01:28 am
Pit: 1, Fmk: 0 (but Zero is still awesome)  
Stan wanders into Raisins and meets the boy of his dreams. Unfortunately, the boy of his dreams won't have anything to do with him. Will Stan's advances result in a restraining order or Kyle's redemption? Cowritten with Flabz. AU.

Interesting concept. I am intrigued and click away.

They sat for several moments in absolute silence before their server walked up to the table. Stan looked up, expecting some big breasted blond, and was absolutely stunned by what he saw. There, smiling down at him, was the most beautiful guy he'd ever seen in his life. He had a head of fiery red hair, piercing green eyes, and a small spattering of freckles on his button nose.

"My God," Stan sighed.

"Hi, sweetie," the red head cooed. "My name is Kyle, and I'll be your server. What can I get you?"

...wait, what?

He stepped onto the sidewalk and turned toward the Brovlofski home. It wasn't the greatest place in the world, honestly, but at least there he didn't have to worry about anyone trying to get into his pants. His mother was a crazy bitch who did nothing but ignore him until she found a reason to scream at him. His father was a stupid piece of shit who spent most of his time locked in his office, doing God-knows-what.

One day that fucker will take a bad snort of the powder and he'll be one less pain in my ass, Kyle thought bitterly.

Complete and utter failure in execution. Am now only reading until the incredulous lols get painful and annoying instead of funny. (Bonus points for spelling Kyle's surname wrong).

Happy Boxing Day!